While I am not a licensed therapists, this blog is dedicated to providing simple tips in an effort to establish simple habits. While I have never endorsed that life is simple, I do believe that simple steps at the right time can provide big returns. Do you have any anger management techniques that you turn to when you are upset? Many of us would say that we do not have anger issues. However, all of us have our limits. As Vince Limbardi the hall of fame football coach used to say, “Difficult times do not build character, it reveals it.” We all have the potential to use and express anger at times. It is a God-given emotion. Still, it is better for us to learn the habit of self control when we feel anger rising within us.
Anger Management Techniques
Below are a few of my favorite anger management techniques. Try using a few of these ideas when you feel yourself about to lose it.
1. Stop trying to control everything. Sometimes our frustration comes from us wanting to control things beyond our control. Life started working better for me when I realized that I really only needed to focus on the things I can control. Anger and stress come into our life when we try to control the things beyond our reach.
2. Create margin in your life. Much of our anger and frustration comes from our hectic schedule. Let me offer a personal example. I have two wonderful kids. They are elementary age and mornings in our house used to be stressful. Luckily, for our sake we changed that. We simply decided to wake up earlier and leave the house with plenty of time to spare. The whining, anger, frustration and aggravation in our house has all but been eliminated simply because we chose to create some margin. I was reading a blog post about the subject of kindness once. They said the number one reason why we do not show more kindness to others is due to having no margin in our lives. When we have more time availability, we are kinder.
3. Give people room to make faults. Anger often comes about in connection and interaction with others. When someone has done something that we do not like, we use anger as way to get back at them or to justify the situation. The problem is that remedy never works. While it may feel good to exert that emotional control over someone else, it never ends in a good place. The bible tells us in the book of proverbs that is is far better for us to overlook that fault and allow some room for people to make mistakes . Here is the verse I am referring to:
The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.
It is in your best interest to pass over the fault at times. Having discretion is a good and worthy attribute to have.
4. Engage in regular activity. Daily physical movement is an awesome way to dear with the emotion of anger that we feel. Take time in your schedule on a regular basis to go for a walk, a jog, and experience the joys that fresh air can bring. All of these things are great ways to reduce stress which lowers the potential for acting out in anger. Is there a hobby that you can participate in? A good book that you have been wanting to read? All of these things allows your mind to calm down and can reduce the emotion of anger that you may feel.
5. Monitor your self talk and thoughts. This is a big one and not easy to conquer in the beginning. Your self talk can be enormously critical on a regular basis. By having conversations with yourself (yes I said it) and being aware of your thoughts, you can begin to challenge the ideas that are being presented. Most of the time our thoughts are one-sided and usually have just is narrow prospective. We need to challenge that. This is why you may have often heard people say it is better to talk things out. It is really nont so much about sharing, but more about getting your self talk out and learning a new perspective on the situation.
So, there are my favorite anger management techniques. I hope you can identify with at least one of them and start using it this week in your life. Remember, it is often the small habits that make the biggest changes in our life.
Question: What tips do you have about managing anger?